go do what you do best...puke behind churches
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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