Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
