she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
