the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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