Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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