New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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