Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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