That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Oh god it's open bar.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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