just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
