Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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