Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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