went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
