I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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