I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
