Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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