Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
