I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
