This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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