I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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