there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
