Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
