He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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