We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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