I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
