She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
