Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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