im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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