Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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