But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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