I didn't shave. On purpose
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He did a backflip because drugs
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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