some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
