OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
