May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
