is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
