im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
