Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
