im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
