My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
