VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
