tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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