i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
