You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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