So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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