You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
