Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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