don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
