I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
