What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
