Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
