Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
