I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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