as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
