is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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