I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
